As James Cleverly set out to persuade many hundreds of Conservatives he should be their next Leader, he declared in a vainglorious tone that he is not just the one candidate “who has run two great offices of state”, but that he has “the experience to deal with people like you, Chopper”.
Chopper, as not every reader of this sketch may know, is the nickname of the great Christopher Hope, formerly of The Daily Telegraph, now Political Editor of GB News.
Was it not asking for trouble, at the start of an hour-long interview, to boast of being able to deal with the mighty Chopper? Might not Cleverly find, on the contrary, that he was cut into little pieces by Chopper?
Chopper’s next question could have proved tricky: “Does Mrs Cleverly mind?”
But Cleverly pointed at his wife, sitting in the front of the vast audience, and said: “Look, I’m an open book… If you like it vote for me. If you don’t like it vote for someone else.”
The former Foreign Secretary sounded like a jovial costermonger selling oranges and lemons from a barrow in the Old Kent Road, not put off by the occasional snooty customer who prefers Waitrose.
Chopper wondered why Cleverly had not resigned as Home Secretary when Robert Jenrick had resigned as Immigration Minister in protest at government policy.
Cleverly took a genial swipe at Jenrick: “I don’t run away from problems. I deal with problems.”
A second brutal swipe at his rival, who has said that because of human rights laws British special forces are “killing rather than capturing terrorists”, followed a few moments later, this one delivered with a tremor of strong emotion: “I’ve never once accused the British Armed Forces of murdering anyone and if you’re going to make that accusation you need to back it up.”
Soon Cleverly was telling us his mother came here “from Sierra Leone in 1966” while “my Dad’s family came here from northern France in 1066”.
The audience loved the mixture of Africa and Normandy. This Cleverly geezer knew how to chat them up, get them laughing, make them feel they were all “one family, one clan, one nation”.
Chopper brought up an “inappropriate joke” once told by Cleverly. “You don’t want to hear what Mrs Cleverly said about that,” Cleverly replied. “Look, I messed up.”
By fessing up he preserved his claim to be an open book.
Chopper: “Is Nigel Farage a Tory?”
Cleverly: “He’s not a Tory. He wants to destroy our party. He is not one of us.” There can be no deal with Nigel’s gang.
Chopper: “What job would you give Boris Johnson?”
The other candidates have tended to handle this question with caution. Cleverly, who worked for Johnson at City Hall, displayed no such inhibitions: “He’s great. He won in London. We need to get back in the habit of doing that for a start.”
He reminded us that when others hesitated, Johnson stood up for Ukraine: “Never forget that.” Johnson, unlike Farage, is one of us.
Cleverly took a swipe at David Lammy, which prompted heartfelt applause, and was then asked by Chopper whether as Prime Minister he would accept gifts.
Cleverly paused a moment, and said in a Dickensian tone: “I will accept gifts every now and then.”
He took off his spectacles, to laughter examined them, and added that the problem was not the acceptance of gifts, as long as these were properly declared, but “the stench of hypocrisy”.
Chopper’s final question was from a Conservative who wondered what lessons can be learned from the performance of Manchester United in the ten years since the departure of Alex Ferguson.
Once again, Cleverly paused, as if at a loss for words. “I’m an Arsenal fan,” he began. “Please don’t hold it against me.”
He mentioned the former Arsenal manager, Arsène Wenger, and went on: “Great organisations with great leaders can do amazing things. Great organisations with the wrong leader massively underperform. Don’t pick the wrong leader.”
The audience loved that, and gave Cleverly the most fervent round of applause any of the four contenders had received.
Before Cleverly, Jenrick had his hour with Chopper, and was skilful, lucid and amusing. We learned that one of his daughters has the middle name Thatcher, but like Tom Tugendhat the previous day, Jenrick could not always prevent a post-prandial drowsiness stealing over some of his audience.
On Wednesday morning, the four candidates will each face the altogether more significant test of delivering a 20-minute speech, but Cleverly has unexpectedly emerged as the victor of the Chopper round.
