This does sound like a spoof, but according to Connla Young, writing in the Irish News, it’s legit:
Orangemen in Co Armagh have pleaded with the Parades Commission to be allowed down the Garvaghy Road while nationalists are distracted by the All-Ireland football final this Sunday.
Members of the order in Portadown have notified the Parades Commission of its intention to march from Drumcree Church through the nationalist district.
Organisers say the parade, which will include two bands and an unspecified number of participants and supporters, will leave the Drumcree Road before making its way to Carleton Street on Sunday.
The parade is due to take place around the same time that Armagh take on Galway in the All-Ireland football final at Croke Park in Dublin.
Earlier this month the Parades Commission placed restrictions on a similar march along the Garvaghy Road, also for this Sunday but with an earlier start time of 1pm.
In a statement Orangemen have confirmed a new application has been made for a 3pm start.In a statement posted on social media on behalf of Portadown district, Orangemen claimed that applying for the parade at 3pm on Sunday “will bring the least impact on the majority of the community that live there as most will either be away to Croke Park, or will be in clubs, pubs or at home watching and supporting their County, Armagh GAA playing in the final of the All-Ireland”.
“As a district we believe that this is an opportunity where the 1998 parade can be completed without bringing major disruption to the area and community,” the statement added.
The post also claimed that the area had changed in recent decades.“Over the last 26 years there has been a big change in demographics … with a lot of foreign nationals coming into the area, so we believe that the time is now to look at all the factors again.”
The Parades Commission is due to consider the Orange Order’s application on Wednesday.Breandán MacCionnaith, of the Garvaghy Road Residents Coalition, dismissed the latest attempt by Orangemen to march along the Garvaghy Road.
“It is not unexpected from them, anything that attempts to breath life into a dead issue,” he said.
It is like that old metaphysical question ‘If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?’.
If an Orangeman walks and no one is around to hear them, does it count?
I help to manage Slugger by taking care of the site as well as running our live events. My background is in business, marketing and IT. My politics tend towards middle-of-the-road pragmatism, I am not a member of any political party. Oddly for a member of the Slugger team, I am not that interested in daily politics, preferring to write about big ideas in society. When not stuck in front of a screen, I am a parkrun Run Director.
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